I’ve just completed the latest mandala for a woman in
Indiana and I wanted to share a huge lesson I learned in the process of
creating it.
When I begin a mandala I am in a beautiful place. I’ve spent
time meditating, chanting, or connecting with the Akashic records and
everything seems to flow. It’s really quite beautiful.
I had done that with this piece. I created the collage and
masked out the mandala on top. I intuitively chose colors that seemed to be
calling to me and I spread them over the top with my hands. Everything was
flowing and felt magical.
Normally my favorite part of the process is to remove the
mask and to see the finished mandala. Each one is unique and I never know what
it is going to look like. This time there was something wrong. The mask wasn’t
coming off the way it normally does and I was struggling a bit. I noticed that
I was starting to get a little flustered which is not something I normally
experience in this process.
I continued to work and instead of getting better, it was
actually getting worse. I started talking to myself in my head, “Oh no, this is
going to look terrible. All this work and now it is going to be ruined. Oh no,
oh no, oh no!” I was working myself up into a tizzy.
All at once I caught myself and I thought, ‘OK, what is
going on here? Who is this talking and freaking out?’ I realized that I had
disconnected from my spiritual self and had let my ego take over. My ego HAD to
create something beautiful, a real work of art and it was my ego that was
freaking out.
I took a deep breath and closed my eyes and reconnected with
my higher self, with the part of me that connected to spirit to allow this
mandala to come through because it was from this place that this mandala had
emerged. This mandala was not a creation of my ego, it was a gift for this
woman’s soul and all I had to do was to connect myself back to that place and
the stress melted away. I held it up and realized that it was beautiful and I
smiled, said thanks and kept working.
How many times do we get caught up in our ego mind letting
it control us with fear and with shame? I know I have spent much of my life in
that pattern and I feel it is yet another gift of I AM. Doing this work allows
me to spend so much time in a higher vibration and connecting to spirit that I
am beginning to recognize my ego more and more easily.
Now that’s a gift!
