Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Lessons in Creation

I’ve just completed the latest mandala for a woman in Indiana and I wanted to share a huge lesson I learned in the process of creating it.
When I begin a mandala I am in a beautiful place. I’ve spent time meditating, chanting, or connecting with the Akashic records and everything seems to flow. It’s really quite beautiful.
I had done that with this piece. I created the collage and masked out the mandala on top. I intuitively chose colors that seemed to be calling to me and I spread them over the top with my hands. Everything was flowing and felt magical.

Normally my favorite part of the process is to remove the mask and to see the finished mandala. Each one is unique and I never know what it is going to look like. This time there was something wrong. The mask wasn’t coming off the way it normally does and I was struggling a bit. I noticed that I was starting to get a little flustered which is not something I normally experience in this process.
I continued to work and instead of getting better, it was actually getting worse. I started talking to myself in my head, “Oh no, this is going to look terrible. All this work and now it is going to be ruined. Oh no, oh no, oh no!” I was working myself up into a tizzy.
All at once I caught myself and I thought, ‘OK, what is going on here? Who is this talking and freaking out?’ I realized that I had disconnected from my spiritual self and had let my ego take over. My ego HAD to create something beautiful, a real work of art and it was my ego that was freaking out.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes and reconnected with my higher self, with the part of me that connected to spirit to allow this mandala to come through because it was from this place that this mandala had emerged. This mandala was not a creation of my ego, it was a gift for this woman’s soul and all I had to do was to connect myself back to that place and the stress melted away. I held it up and realized that it was beautiful and I smiled, said thanks and kept working.
How many times do we get caught up in our ego mind letting it control us with fear and with shame? I know I have spent much of my life in that pattern and I feel it is yet another gift of I AM. Doing this work allows me to spend so much time in a higher vibration and connecting to spirit that I am beginning to recognize my ego more and more easily.

Now that’s a gift!

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