Wednesday, August 14, 2013

How To Claim Disowned Aspects of the Self

By Jill Marie

You may be familiar with the concept of "You Spot It You Got It."  This can be challenging Shadow work to accept and it isn't for the faint of heart!  Yet if you really want to embody your Authentic Self you have to move into a state of Wholeness and that includes all of you.  We are both Light and Dark in this physical world and you know what?  That's totally okay!  It is part of the human journey.  The question becomes ~ Can we love all aspects of ourselves without judgement?

 Now that doesn't mean we can go around being jerks and intentionally hurting other people, but it does mean that if we do something or say something that isn't perhaps the kindest or most life affirming then we can look at it, learn from it and move on.

Becoming the observer in your life can be eye opening and beneficial and help you move into deeper alignment with your True Essence.  From the vantage point of the observer you can engage in life and at the same time have awareness of what is serving you and what isn't.

One of the easiest ways to do this is to pay attention to how you interact with others or to what you are feeling when you are in a group setting.  Who's company do you enjoy?  Who irritates you?  What mannerisms do you find life enhancing and which ones totally turn you off?

Recently I was volunteering at an event and I was a bit nervous about it.  I run the pattern of being a bit shy so it is always a good challenge for me to step outside my comfort zone in the name of growth.  I was working with several other women and didn't know any of them.  It's probably important to add here that it was a metaphysical event and there were many healers and artists present. I love seeing the way people of like mind combine their gifts and talents and share their work with the world.

 It still amazes me though how rude and self-centered some people can be (at that point in my judgement I had forgotten "if you spot it you got it!)  I was acutely aware of this particularly with one woman who was super irritating me.  She was abrasive and pushy and a know it all.  In order to not get stomped on I got a tad bitchy with her just to not get swallowed up by her overbearing personality. While I wasn't necessarily proud of myself for getting bitchy I was glad that I had stood up for myself and held my ground.  Imagine my surprise when my Guides suggested I step back and become the observer. I was clearly told that I am witnessing different aspects of myself.  Kind of like I was at my own personal play seeing my different aspects ~ all ones that I don't own on a regular basis or have disowned.  It wasn't just the negative aspects either, but the positive ones as well.

Some of the women were quite and had a gentle energy that was pleasant to be around, some were nice but reserved and seemed a bit standoffish, some were only concerned with what they were doing and paid no attention to anybody else and came across as rude, one was passionate about what she did but was a bit all over the place and hard to follow, and then there was the really abrasive one. One lady was so funny she totally cracked me up and I loved being around her, and a few were very caring and nurturing ready to show me the ropes.

 I was invited to see how I was like all of them in different,  yet similar ways.  Either I was like that now or have been in the past.

It was very revealing for me and I was guided to really explore this.  When I got home I pulled out several pieces of paper and I labeled each one to represent the unique personality I had come across.  I wrote down the positive qualities and the ones I didn't care for.  Then I asked myself how am I like that in my own life?  Does it serve me? How do I think it comes across to others?  Is that okay with me?  Is that how I want to show up?  To be perceived?  And while I'm not out to please other people at my own expense, I am directly interested in how I myself show up and feel.  I like being kind, helpful, enjoyable to be around, and of service. When I do come across  aspects I don't care for do I push them away, repress them and try to hide that part of me?

I got some great insight and was able to sit and dialogue with each aspect that I was able to connect with.  I was able to talk to the abrasive part of me and find out why and when I felt like I needed to be that way.  What purpose did it serve?  Could I move through it differently?

I have more to look at in this regard.  I'm seeing some deeper levels of healing that I'm ready for.  Areas where I am too left brained when more right brain would be beneficial and other areas where being more left brained would be better.

If you are feeling brave and there is a person or event that has been upsetting you or difficult in any way, or if you are feeling under confident but there are people around you that you admire.that radiate confidence, see how they are mirroring aspects of you.

And remember to love and accept yourself each step of the way!

Did this post speak to you?  Do you disagree with the You Spot It You Got It point of view?  Let me know, I would love to hear your thoughts about this controversial topic :)

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