Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Have You Ever Felt Like This?

Sometimes life just sucks! 

 Yes...I said it.  

 It may not be the NLP way to say it and some would say that it is also not very Spiritual, but I've personally tried to force a smile and come up with the positives of a situation before I was ready to.   

Have you ever done that ~  instead of letting yourself go with how you were really feeling in the moment? 

You may have found that not allowing yourself to acknowledge your feelings and thoughts has led to more issues of dysfunction, resentment and irritation than if you would have just let yourself feel your feelings in the first place and let them pass through. 

If you have known me for awhile you know that I am a pretty optimistic person.  I'm blessed to have deepened my belief system and opened up to my connection with Spirit.  You also know that these past few years have had incredible highs and some pretty low lows.   

The Lows:  You know that my 16 year old daughter has been in and out of the hospital for an eating disorder (I have her permission to share this).  Then began  having Urinary Retention to the point that she had to catheterize herself multiple times a day to empty her bladder.  She had InterStim surgery that was 100 % successful during the trial period only to have it stop working 5 days after her second surgery when they  implanted the battery/programmer between her muscle tissue and subcutaneous tissue in her left hip/buttock area.
 Addendum ~ as of this morning 10-24-2012 she was able to go on her own!!! 

You know that my 18 year old son is legally blind from a genetic eye disorder ( that he got from me) and he can't drive.  He has had bleeding blood vessels in his eyes that when actively bleeding needs painful injections into the eyeball.  That started when he was only in the 3rd grade.

That I have the same eye disorder as my son (My vision is better than his) and it is progressing.   

That my mom died unexpectedly (she was an amazing lady and good friend).  We  were told constantly that she was doing great and they expected her to make a full recovery after a week or so  of touch and go in the ICU.  She was sent to a rehab center after 3 weeks in the hospital to gain her strength back  and days before her discharge she went into shock over several hours due to her heart being squeezed by fluid build up. 

 Then beating myself up because I should have insisted that she be taken to the ER as I knew something was wrong...but I didn't.  

Instead I let the nurse give her some pain medication because the doctor said it was an "arthritis flare up" and I left so she could get some rest.    I saw her several hours later in the ER.  She had died in the ambulance on the way to the hospital.   

Me, my nephew and my Mom :)

The Highs:  I went to Canada and got certified as a Master Soul Art Guide,   my intuitive  Energy Healing expanded to include  stronger Quantum Level Frequencies,  I paired up with an incredible Intuitive Artist and launched Inner Alignment Mandalas and went to California and got certified as a Dream Builder Coach which has been a dream of mine for the past three years.  I am following my heart's desires where I am being called and aligning with my passions and purpose as my Healing/Coaching practice moves into its next level of expression.

My son graduated High School and got drafted to a Tier 3 Minnesota Junior Hockey Team ,  he did not let his limited vision stop him from pursuing his passion of playing Hockey, and my daughter is now eating healthy and nutritious food, sees a therapist that she loves and gets regular Chiropractic care.  She is excited to have a great Junior year in High School and is loving being part of the Marching Band as a Snare Drum player  in the Drum Line.  She even got her first job.
 Gianna Marie


Where am I going with this?   

Knowing what I know and believing what I believe has helped me tremendously at times and other times it proved to actually be a hindrance.

I was not allowing myself to feel my feelings and move through the grieving process when needed. 

Even though I know better than to try and do a Spiritual Bypass and not give myself permission to feel overwhelmed, angry, sad or scared ~ I still find myself, at times, trying to do just that!   

I'm not sure all of the reasons why I do that but I do know that it is partly because many Mentors teach that you have to keep your thoughts positive no matter what, your vibration up and so on or else you will keep attracting less than desired situations into your life.  

And while I agree that that is also need to allow yourself to feel those feelings in the first place and not try to jump up the emotional scale too fast,  as Abraham - Hicks say.

That is why I LOVE these 4 Tools to help with the Allowing of feeling how you are feeling without Judging yourself and then moving through it as quickly as possible so you can realign with the Divine  Truth that All Is Well...despite appearances.  

While going through many challenges with my daughter,  where at times I was only able to see the horrible side of her eating disorder, a disorder  that took her over like an entity of its own and has left physical damage along the way~  I would  often turn to  her Beautiful Mandala knowing that her True Essence is so very beautiful and read the channeled words of wisdom that helped my heart heal.
I first allowed myself to feel the sadness, anger, fear and actual hate of ED (eating disorder, or as we call it FRED -bad word ridiculous eating disorder), and then was able to move into the higher truth, that her experience serves a purpose far beyond what my small self could ever understand.
 Her custom Mandala wasn't only a gift for was one for me and my husband too.  Thank you Michelle for this physical representation of Gianna's True Essence.

4.  Any Book from Abraham - Hicks.  Especially "The Astonishing Power of Emotions"

Clink on the Links and check them out if you aren't already familiar with them and how they can help you feel your feelings fully AND move forward as quickly and easily as possible.

Have you found yourself not allowing yourself to feel your feelings fully?

What tools and techniques do you use in your life?  

We would love to hear from you :)

A related article that I just love is from my friend and fellow Certified Soul Art Guide Leanne Chapman from Claim Your Treasure.

With Heart,

Jill Marie


  1. Precious Jill Marie...Thank you for being you. For your heart, your compassion, your loving spirit and your honesty. You bring such a LIGHT to the world my friend. with love and heartfelt appreciation... San

    1. Thank you for your kind words San ;) Sending lots of love and gratitude and Angel Blessings your way!