I grew up in an entrepreneurial family. My parents owned restaurants and they worked very hard. When they weren't working, they were often talking about working. I found it dreadfully boring.
I was an only child and because my parents' were known to work morning to night, seven days a week, I spent a lot of time with my aunt, various babysitters or alone. As a child I felt like the restaurants were more important than I was. My child brain couldn't understand the concept of paying bills, having a mortgage and making a living. None of that mattered to me, I just wanted to feel like I mattered.
Fast forward to my adult life. As you know, I have 5 children and have been a stay home mom for almost 21 years. That's not to say I didn't go to school, take classes and start some fun businesses, but my number one focus has always been on my children. There is a big part of me who didn't want my children to feel like anything was more important than they are.
I have orchestrated my life to revolve around my kids' hectic schedules. I attend sporting events every night of the week and every weekend (our record is 17 games in one weekend). I shuffle this one to that practice and that one to this practice. I never miss a game when there is no other conflict. This is my life.
Over the last month, Jill and I have been called to take Inner Alignment Mandalas to the next level. We know that together we have a unique offering that has the potential to help a lot of people. We were so excited to begin offering our Inner Alignment Mastery program that combines intuitive coaching and energy healing.
We signed up our first 5 clients and booked their sessions. It seemed so perfect because with all of the timezones involved and the amount of people we had to coordinate, it all fell magically into place. We were feeling so blessed.
Then I noticed my negative beliefs started rearing up and trying to wreak havoc on our plans. My 21 year old son came back from the Air Force for the first time and I found myself having to be on coaching calls. Calls that looked like they were scheduled at times that would work suddenly were scheduled at the same time as my children's baseball games. I started freaking out! I was thinking of giving up the whole thing to focus all of my attention on my family because I couldn't imagine how I could make it all work.
I knew that it was this belief that I carried with me from childhood. I knew that somewhere deep inside I believed that if I worked and made money, I would be a bad mom. My children would feel they weren't as important as money and I would be failing them. On the conscious level I knew it was ridiculous but subconsciously it was there.
I cleared blocks, meditated, went into the Akashic Records, and did a lot of deep breathing to allow myself to honor my commitments to these 6 wonderful women (Jill is the 6th). I spoke to my children and explained what was going on and how I was going to have to miss some of their games and that their dad wouldn't be able to be there either. I will sum up their response by sharing what my 10 year old said. "It's fine Mom. I don't care. As long as someone takes me there and brings me home, I'm fine."
So I did it. I got on those calls and connected with these women and we did the MOST AMAZING work. They made huge shifts and changes and were ecstatic with what Jill and I were offering them. When I hung up with those calls I felt energized, electric and alive. I knew I was living my purpose.
And when my children came home from their games we talked and they told me all about it. How they hit, what crazy play happened and the funny things that went on on the bench and I knew I was living my purpose.
It brings me to tears now as I'm writing this.
I learned a lot of the last month. I've grown and I've overcome a huge block that was holding me back. I pushed through what was probably the most uncomfortable thing I've come up against and it turned out wonderfully...magically even.
I know my story is unlike your story and some of you may relate to it on some level while others may not, but the reality is we all have our own stories that hold us back in one way or another. I shared this very personal piece of my life with you to help you see where you may be playing small because of some belief you had that is no longer serving you.
I want to invite you to spend a little time thinking about your story and what one negative belief you have that is keeping you stuck in some way. How is it affecting you? What would your life be like if you could let it go? Can you imagine how even though it might seem scary, that when you finally, once and for all let it go, you will be connected to your purpose? What is one thing you can do today to begin to let go of that negative belief and release that block?