Through the eyes of my Mom Part 1

By Jill Marie

Happy New Years Eve (or New Year)!

It has been quite a long time since I posted a blog.  I don't always have 5 great tips or 3 simple solutions to share.  In fact...that isn't why I originally started blogging in the first place.

To me it was a way to share information that I was learning or processing and I liked to share it with others on their journey...not as an expert but as a fellow journeyer.  I wasn't so good at following the proper blog formula to engage the reader.  Which I certainly would like to do...otherwise it is a waste of your time and potentially mine if I was attempting to write a real gem every time I blogged...but that put some incredible pressure on me so instead of writing from my heart I got caught up in the rules and for me, if I'm not passionate about it then it just becomes another chore.

Today I just want to write for me and if it speaks to you I hope you'll read it and it would be awesome if it touches your soul in some way, and if not that is totally fine too ;)

This has been a tough few years for me and now that my Dad passed away it makes me miss my Mom even more.  She died in April 2011, and he passed in July 2013.

That brings me to my story...

For 5 years I have had one of those old disposable cameras sitting on a shelf.  It was my Mom's and I told her I would get it developed for her.  There were still 8 photos left so she asked me to use them up...or I could just get it developed, my choice.

Digital was the hot ticket by now so I never did take any photos with that camera...and I never developed it either.

It sat on my counter, then in a drawer, the hall closet, up to my room on my dresser, then in my sock drawer, back to my dresser...and back and forth it went.

Looking at that camera after my mom died was a reminder that it is something I never did for her.  So again I put it in on the counter to bring with me the next time I went to the store.  Yet I didn't do it.

 Why?  I can't explain it...I wanted to, I planned on it, but it just never made it to the store.

This past Sunday...it felt like it was time, time to take it to the store and finally see what my mom loved enough to take some pictures of.  I was ready, the camera was ready, and it seemed even my mom was hanging around in the ethers reassuring me that this was the perfect time.

So off I went to Costco...only for them to say they no longer develop that type of film.  My heart sank...was this a lesson to do what I say I'm going to do, when I say I'm going to do it...which is some people's definition of Success.  I like that definition...except then that meant that I failed :(

Or was it a lesson in trusting in Divine timing...was there truly a "reason" that it would have waited until now to be developed?  Kind of hard if I wouldn't be able to find anybody to develop it.

Off I went to Target where they too told me they don't do that type of film anymore.  I felt my heart drop, but I did not feel defeated.  There was no doubt in my mind that I would find a way to get that film developed and that it could be easy.

So off I went to Walgreen's and happily they said they could send it out and do it no problem.  I get that film back on Thursday.  I am so excited!!!

Will it be a bunch of blurry pictures?  Will it be of the grand kids?  My mom loved her puppy...will it be of Maddie? Or her backyard with her flower pots that she loved so much?  Whatever they are of...it will be something that was seen through her eyes.

I wonder if  at that point I will have a better idea of what insight (aka learning lesson)  I will get out of this.

Right now it seems like loving and accepting myself no matter what,  and also that trust are just about always the answer for everything!

I'll post them when I get them.

Wishing you all the best in 2014 and a year filled with Inner Alignment

With Heart,

Jill Marie

How the Love of Another Means Nothing Without the Love of Yourself

By Michelle:

I am a big proponent of self love, self care and finding your own inner peace inside of you. I know that we are the only ones who can make us happy.

One example of this theory revolves around my husband Ed. I met him 19 years ago. I was divorced and had two young sons despite only being 25 myself. He was unlike any of the guys I had dated before. He was polite, clean cut, quiet, thoughtful, and so caring. He was so cute with my kids and loved that I was a mom.

It didn't take long before I knew that he was the perfect person for me and that I was going to marry him and make a life with him.

Everything I thought about him in the beginning was true and yet he was even better than I imagined. He is the most loving man I have ever met. He is quick with a compliment and dotes on me every day. He calls me twice a day during the week amd his eyes light up when he sees me after a long day of work. He supports me, loves me unconditionally and will do anything to make sure I'm happy. He is truly a dream come true!

And yet, there was a time when I couldn't let that in. I was unable to appreciate him and to some degree I didn't feel worthy of his attention. I was shut off to his love to some degree.

Now don't get me wrong. We had a nice life. We had 3 more beautiful boys, we lived in a great house, had great friends and on the surface everything was great.

But underneath, I wasn't as happy as I could be. Here I had everything I could ever want...and I do mean everything...and yet I wasn't happy. I had this great guy who loved me and these amazing children who loved me and I couldn't really feel it. What was missing?

Looking back now I realize that the missing link was my inability to love myself. Once I had my healing crisis and started on my path of healing and growth, things began to shift and my heart began to open more and more.

I started practicing gratitude and I was able to see my husband with new eyes. I began opening up to him and sharing parts of me I thought were so ugly no one could love. I allowed myself to be vulnerable.

And in the process of learning to love myself, our love grew stronger and stronger and I have to tell you that right now, I can't imagine our relationship being any better. I feel like a princess living a dream life with my Prince Charming. And I know that none of this would be possible if I didn't learn to heal myself, take care of myself, and love myself.

Today is my husband's birthday and we will be celebrating it together as a family and showering him with the love he is oh so worthy of.

I want to invite you to open your heart and let the love flow in honor of the greatest man I know. Let's make today a love fest in honor of my wonderful husband. Share the love with someone close to your heart today and especially send some love your own way!

Xoxo

Take a Vacation in Everlasting Joy and Love

I was sitting out in my screen room today working away on my computer. In a split second I caught a glimpse of my reflection in my laptop screen and I was taken aback. Who the heck was that looking back at me? I did not recognize that person.

When did my eyes change so much? How old am I? How on earth did my face gain that double chin?

All good questions.

But then I looked a little closer. I looked deeper into my eyes and I recognized that inner spark, the part of me that isn't attached to this body and I felt like I could breathe a sigh of relief. I felt myself relax and my whole being felt like it settled in to a sense of peace and contentment.

I'm a mystery to myself. Some days I'm content exactly where I am, others I'm wishing for more. There are times when I'm smiling ear to ear, acting goofy, and laughing with the greatest of ease and then there are times when I'm crabby, stand offish and just want to be left alone. Some days I look in the mirror and hate what is being reflected back to me and others I'm pleasantly surprised at the person looking back.

But when I am able to strip all of that away and go deep...really deep, I find myself to be vast and expansive, connected to everything, pulsing with love and light and from this place, none of the other stuff matters.

Now, don't get me wrong, I don't live my life from this place of everlasting joy and love...I wish that I did or that I could, but I have not figured out how to do that just yet. BUT...I am able to vacation there from time to time. It's a miraculous journey and the few moments I have the pleasure of spending there is enough to bring everything into perspective and to make everything feel alright.

It's enough to release my self judgement, to be gentle with myself and to not take life so seriously. It's enough fill up my well, to smile just a bit easier and love just a bit deeper. And it's enough to realize that no matter what I look like on the outside, I'm still the same person on the inside.

Tired Of The Same Old Gratitude List?

I love having a Gratitude Journal and it is a key element to my Daily Alignment Practice, but I confess and sometimes it feels more like a chore.  I just do it to get it done and don't enter into the feeling tone of Gratitude, which really defeats much of the purpose.

Lately I have been working with ways to make it more fun and right now this is my favorite :)

10 Super Simple and/or Silly Things I LOVE About My Life.

  I Love that my kids love listening to Johnny Cash songs and sign them out loud when we are in the car.

 I Love when I am sitting in meditation and I can feel the strong connection with the Universe and  Bella, Luna, my cat, will suddenly begin purring, even though she was sleeping peacefully next to me the whole time.

  I Love when I go to sleep at night and Bella Luna curls up next to me in the crook of my arm.

I Love watching Bella Luna soaking up the Rays.

Bella Luna enjoying the Sun

I Love when my husband calls me Deuce, a nickname my niece gave me 20 plus years ago when she was 2.

I Love when I overhear my son telling his friends, "My mom is into all this weird stuff but you know it really works!"

I Love living by my own schedule doing what I love to do.

I Love that I'm 45 and still feel like I'm in my late 20's but with the wisdom that comes with age and life experiences.

I Love A New Day Art Studio and the journals that Deanna Jinjoe makes.

A New Day Art Studio Handmade Journals by Deanna Jenjoe

I Love being able to connect with like minded people all over the world!

I Love having a business partner and friend that is an Intuitive Artist.

My Birthday Gift from Michelle Geoffroy :)

I Love that my 17 year old daughter will still ask me if I need a Power Hug*

I Love the Power of Love and an Open Heart :)

I Love all of you!  Sounds sappy but true!  I am so thankful for the Light you add to this world

Oh I guess that is 13 things!  I was having so much fun I don't want to stop!

 *I made up Power Hugs when the kids were little because I had Fibromyalgia and some days it was almost impossible to get out of bed.  I told them that their Power Hugs would fill me with so much love, and that it helped me have more energy.  Those Power Hugs worked like magic!

 It was a combination of the pain and exhaustion, plus the love of my family that led me on my Quest to feel better and heal my energetic imbalances.  It was so life changing that I went on to study the energy system and become an Energy Healer myself so I could help as many people as possible to live an empowered life.

Hope you have a wonderful day filled with Love and Gratitude and maybe even some Power Hugs ;)

With Heart,

Jill Marie